did i marry the right person?...
This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn
something from here...
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve
your marriage & relationship ...
MY FRIENDS, PLEASE READ
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,
"How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
"It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's
weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love
with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted
their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional
behavior/habit).
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in
love... Because it's happening TO YOU .
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about
the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just
standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and
happened TO YOU
Falling in love is easy It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But
after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love
fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship Slowly but surely,
phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always
welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies ,
instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference
between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or
even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you
once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages breakdown People blame their spouse for their
unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive
TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It
lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation
a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll
NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love.. You have
to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression
"the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy And
most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to
make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically
stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage
stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the
results are predictable... you can "make"love
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.
Remember this always :
"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide
who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let
go."
